L.O.V.E

What is Love? is it physical? emotional? mental? or spiritual?  do we love people because of how they look, what they do for us or do we love people simply for who they are?
I guess for all of us its a complex mixture and each one of us has our own formula as to how we love and feel love and we define it in our own unique way.

I know for me, Love is a physical thing, its an emotional thing and a mental thing but really and truly its a spiritual experience for me, for at the end of the day we love a person for who they are and how they have somehow touched us in some way shape or form no matter how small.

I've been in love many times in my life, but my last experience left me heart broken, but the saying is true tho, when you truly love someone, you sacrifice yourself for them and their happiness is your happiness and even if they don't want to be with you anymore ( and that hurts like hell) you let them go, you allow them to be free of you whether or not they decide to come back to you for you love them to the point that your only wish is for them to be happy whether its with you or not.

Its not easy to let go of someone you love, in fact its damn hard, the emotions rip you apart and in a way you want to hate them for leaving you but in fact you don't because you love them and really and truly, you always will.

Self sacrificial love, the highest of all forms of love, when you love someone to the point that you sacrifice yourself and your personal wishes just for them but also the most painful form of love, it takes great courage and strength to make a sacrifice like that and if i could go back in time and do it again, id do it the same way, i don't know about you but i couldn't live with myself knowing that im the reason the one i love is unhappy, id rather they be happy without me than in hell with me.

Love changes us for the better, with each experience and with each time we fall in love we change, we grow and we learn. We learn more and more about ourselves and we learn to correct our mistakes and become better people, better human beings and better lovers.

Love itself for me is the greatest gift anyone person can experience, to love someone is a gift and if you can say that you have loved and lost than never loved at all you are truly blessed, i know that it doesn't seem like a blessing when your hurting and going through a break up but really it is, its through those emotional times in our lives that we grow stronger in ourselves and change, grow, transform and ultimately evolve, what seperates us from animals is our higher intellect and most of all our ability to love. Love is the key to life, the meaning of existence for all human spirits because out of Gods love came humanity and it is within our humanity that makes us truly wonderful beings and wonderful to behold

I often ask myself if i were presented with 2 options, the 1st for all the money i could ever need and the 2nd for the love of my life, which i would choose? which would you choose because i know for me as tempting as money sounds nothing can replace or buy true love that is a phenomenon that is beyond time and space truly not of this earth

Love is the greatest thing in this world, this earth, this universe and i hope, no i pray i get another chance at love, to feel something deep for another and to have them love me back in return freely, i pray with all my heart my wish comes true and that one day i find that truly

No matter how hard, no matter how difficult it seems, never give up on love

Forgiveness, for they know not what they do

I spoke before in a Post about revenge, but really and truly what leads us down that path of lashing out at those closest to us is just a simple lack of forgiveness. We as human beings are meant to rise above our petty squabbles, diffuse the situation (which in some cases is like a ticking time bomb, just waiting to explode) and just let bygones be bygones.

There's a Big difference between us and animals, we can actually think for ourselves and appreciates higher forms of life, but when the going gets tough we often show that were no better than the animals some of us eat. I know its very easy to say we should forgive and a lot harder in fact to do and you don't need me preaching to you as to why we should forgive but i'll tell you how i came to my own recognition of forgiving others.

Recently a friend of mine (Bruno) poked fun at a swelling on my cheek caused by an allergic reaction to something, and i held my tongue for as long as i could because on the inside i was fuming but not with anger but with pain. I felt pain because it pains me to be the subject of his jokes as they're really not funny at all and talk about bad timing and kicking a man when he's down that's not what people let alone friends do to each other but then i couldn't hold back my emotions any longer and said some things back, but quickly after saying them i realized i didn't need or want to, the emotions in a way felt like the driving force and forced me to say things i didn't want to say and the only reason it was said was to satisfy, like some craving, the emotions i felt wanted and soon after i realized that we as humans, were driven by very passionate emotions good and bad and that can drive us to do things of a  great Magnitude or of great destruction

From Whitney Houston to Adolf Hitler, we have the power to shape the world around us, we have the power to make a change, take a stance in life and truly work towards something of true glory of true importance but we can never achieve anything good by fighting, it is only through forgiveness and working together can we move forward as one, in truth and reality, united we stand divided we do fall.

Last  year when my birth mum threatened to kill me for real and gave me one week to move out, i shortly had a terrible dream, in a lot of african families there's always someone there that holds the gift of foresight
usually its an Aunty or uncle and sometimes the mother, but it was me, ive seen things in my dreams about my cousin remi getting pregnant, about my friend from uni and her troubles shes been having with her boyfriend which all came to pass, but when i saw this dream shortly after all that had happened, i was slightly shocked.

In my dream i saw both my birth mum and my eldest aunties obituaries along with others there in the dream telling me they had died. Did i think, YESSSS!!!!!!! she's getting what she deserves for threatening  my life and making me homeless as a result, No in fact i was sad because i feel and still feel that even though this person caused me so much pain in my life and threatened to kill me and made me homeless death was not the justice i would ever ask for

To this day that dream has not come to pass and i hope it remains that way, for i can forgive everything people do to me, but i do not forget which does make it hard for me to move past things and i guess it does for everyone  but i wanna live life unburdened by the troubles of my past and look on  happily towards my future

Jesus Christ said these words "Lord forgive them for they know not what they do" , if he hadn't had said those words i fear for humanity what would have become of us

I just know that for me i'm going to try and be more forgiving of others and even though i cant forget still give people second chances because we all make mistakes and i know ive made many but should we be forever punished for the mistakes we've made in the past? or should we be judged for the people we are in the here and now regardless of all that has come before?

The Hot, The Fit, The UGLY!!!

A question that has been burning in my mind lately. Is beauty really  in the eye of the beholder? and if it is what are they beholding or is there a universal law for who is beautiful and who isn't? and really and truly what is beauty?

The Hot

What is it to be Hot? To be Gorgeous? To be absolutely Physically desirable? Is it looks or is it charisma?

My good friends Abe and Rio say to me that a person can be physically Beautiful, like a beautiful painting and yet totally unattractive to everyone who see's them, is this true? iv'e asked  many people outside and most say that Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder,  and if so what is it that they are really beholding, the physical? or are they beholding the spiritual?  and others have said to me  that they would like a mixture of the two (both attractive on the outside and a good personality to go with it) but that so rarely happens.

I believe that the eyes are a door to a persons spirit,you can read a person by reading their eyes. When the idea of beauty is left to the judgment of the beholder they can find almost anything about the person attractive from the colour of their eyes to the smell of their body, scent and our natural pheromones play a big part in making us attracted to one another but most of all the beholder will find unique to themselves something they can inwardly admire,respect and love in that significant other.

If  Beauty were instead a Universal Law instead are we to say that certain people are then naturally more beautiful than others like for instance who is more beautiful to you, Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston

1)  Angelina Jolie

Or 

2) Jenifer Aniston

Who is more beautiful? Iv'e asked many guys this question and most say to me they find Aniston more beautiful but cannot at the same time deny Angelina's scorching good looks, I know my Best friend Abe Chose Angelina Over Jenifer but most guys i speak to outside prefer and love Jenifer Aniston. 

Going purley based on Aesthetics, Angeline does have a more exotic look than jenifer and one could say that she is more beautiful but if beauty is only a shallow term used by superficial people then yes Jolie wins, but if beauty transcends that of the flesh then you Cannot deny Jennifer Aniston and her natural charm and charisma as alot of guys grew up watching her on the friends tv show and grew to love her physically and the character she played "Rachel"

Really and truly Anyone can find Anyone to be Hot, Gorgeous, Desirable because at the end of the day it all comes down to the individuals personal tastes.

The Fit

Another term we love to use, " that Guy or Girl is Fit", a direct reference to a persons bodily appendage ( the glute area or bust or pecs on a man or woman). 

I always see guys at the gym torturing themselves by lifting huge weights to achieve some look to become a big bodybuilder like Arnold Schwarzenegger  or slim lean and toned like Brad Pitt or David Beckham. Helloooooo!! wake up your body wasn't designed to shape shift to your every whim and fancy a lesson i learned the hard way, just  because suddenly Chris Hemsworth Gains a Huge amount of Muscle for his role as "Thor" the viking god doesn't mean you have to aswell. A friend of mine Paul Parker said to me, "be happy with the body you have" and that is so true because we only have one in each and every lifetime. 

I also see big Guys starving themselves trying to be thin as well and these are all classic signs of BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), wake up and smell the roses and open your eyes, Your body is your body and like the colour of your skin you cannot change its fundamental working, if you were born as an Ectomorph ( naturally thin and slim guys like Brad Pitt) a Mesomorph ( Naturally lean and well built guys like Mathew Mcconaughey) or endomorph ( Naturally big boned and thickly built guys like Mr T from the A team) then you should find out which one you fundamentally are and work on what you have and develelp it into something truly spectacular.

I remember hearing someone telling me about how people who have been mentally and emotionally abused or gone through some form of trauma make themselves bigger in some way to protect themselves from the pain they feel, whether it be that they devour large amounts of chocolates as most women do when going through a bad break up or whether it be a man lifting more and more to get bigger to hide and run away from his mental and emotional insecurities or abuse because for them, getting bigger is like erecting a thick wall to stand  between them and the thing or person attacking them emotionally and mentally

I know when i was 14 i wanted to be just like Arnold, i wanted to be big muscled man and started bodybuilding in hopes one day to achieve that dream, by 19 i was 17 stone and a massive bodybuilder and i could lift a lot of things but i could barely run and walking made me sweat waaaay to much.  i then decided i wanted to be super thin like Brad Pitt or some male fashion model id seen in a magazine and trust me i went about and lost over 3 stone in muscle mass and excess weight, i starved as well ( not by choice though, a certain someone starved me one summer) and fell ill from food poisoning as well, i was ill for a week and i lost so much weight i looked gaunt and emaciated after that happened i finally saw the error of my ways, please don't try it yourselves, you all have the unique opportunity not to make the mistakes i foolishly made for myself

A question for all of you Which would you rather be, Big and Muscular like for instance 

1)  Arnold schwarzenegger

or Thin/slim and toned like 

2) Brad Pitt in fight club

Your choice you choose

I know what i would choose, Neither, id want instead my own healthy, well balanced natural physique

The Ugly

Ugly, those 4 words commonly used by people who are desired mostly for their looks against those who aren't desired for their looks at all. Genetics is what decides whether where good looking or not, so for all you men and women out there, be careful who you marry for your kids will be blaming you for the looks that they have.

Really and truly Ugly does exist, not really just in the physical form but in the spiritual to physical form, for a person can be Ugly on the inside and it can shine outwardly for all to see and no matter how exotic or good looking they physically are they are truly ugly, for with all the technological breakthroughs and medical enhancements available now one can have plastic surgery  and change the way that they look but if you are an Ugly person through what you say and what you do no amount of plastic surgery will change that so you can put your money away and for once in your life do some honest hard work on yourself and by that im referring to the inner self your spirit.

A friend of mine Judenne said to me "there is no such thing as beauty as we are a sum of our experiences on this earth and that really and truly there is only what IS" and she is very right, i believe that true beauty itself lies with the creator our Lord for he made us and shaped us and we often look at the Lord as such a powerful being but we forget that he's also such a beautiful one for in reality here on earth real beauty is in Nature, is in the animals around us, really and truly true beauty is life itself and that's the gift the creator our lord gave us

Showcase Time - Kalixte and DFA Photo

Looking back on my life and remembering all that ive done and experienced, i look back fondly on some moments that are now forever captured on film  or really and trully digital film.

Here's a couple of shots i've done, 2 when i was 19 and 2 when i was 17

The First 2 photos were done with a photographer called Kalixte back in 2009 for a sports fitness shoot

1)

2)

The Next 2 photos were done with DFA Photo when i was 17 for an urban Fashion shoot

3)

4)

Memorable moments in my life forever captured

Personal Trainer or Personal Tyrant?

Ive often wondered,when im on the gym floor watching all these personal trainers train their clients, Do we really need them? Is a personal trainer really going to get you fit? and if so, in what way?

My typical gym program is to start with a 3k run, followed my a good weights session and then a long swim, ive just recently re-learned how to swim so its really nice to finally be able to freestyle from one end to the other now. I recently had a free session with one of the PT's  that works at my gym and lets say he really did put me through my paces. I'm used to running 8miles/ 12.8k like i did last year in the summer for an hour at a time and lifting big weights as well but when this PT gave me a circuit to do, i found it draining my energy.

When it comes to training, i train mostly in  endurance and aerobic exercise and  im the king of it and have mastered that but when this PT gave me a workout to do, i was like what the hell, i'm sweating way more which is good but not good when your feeling drained and the PT keeps adding one more rep to really make you work for it.
I realized that i'm very used to relying on my stamina and endurance and am very used to doing aerobic exercise but haven't been training my anaerobic system, which we use when sprinting.

Honestly i did think at first when he gave me totally different exercises to do "uh oh, im in for it" and when doing the exercises with him feeling like, "whats next torture is he going to put me through now" and when he kept saying 1 more to go and then another one more to go, "Will  this session ever end" but afterwards realizing what he put me through i cannot say that it was a waste and in fact i'm ready to go again.

The PT that was training me was an ex footballer and was having me do drills he used to do back when he was playing for a team professionally and looking back on it i found it quite empowering to know that i can perform those drills and was actually fit enough to do them

There's training for fitness and there's training just to look good, in my experience i've found guys like to train a lot for the way that they look as opposed for actual bodily performance and health.

But looking back on the things i've seen while in the gym, i do sometimes feel that some personal trainers do become your very own personal tyrant as they do like to push you and push you and push you, sooner or later theres not gonna be anywhere else for them to push and they may very well push you off a cliff.

I remember seeing guys past their 50's who are most likely trying to regain the body they had during their 20's and 30's  and you find that the PT is putting them through torturous workouts with heavy weights or heavy circuit routines just to help them achieve their results, i think to myself, poor guy, if you only knew the real benefits of training more for performance and strength gains rather than just to regain some nostalgic look you had when your were 25-35. I asked one PT who works in Victoria's LA Fitness Gym  as to why he puts his clients through so much physical pain and torture when he could have them do different workouts that wont make them feel like idiots and help them make even more massive gains in their fitness, he said and i quote " its to ensure that they get out of their bad habits", i was laughing my head off as well when he said that but also it does make sense and plus when you do hire a personal trainer you do want them to help you achieve the results that you want for yourself otherwise what the point in paying them.

Personal Trainers are a unique breed, even im training to be one, but will use different methods than those i've seen training their clients in the gym.

In truth and reality, its not what you do, its how you do it and to truly understand your body, you must understand yourself, in other words to achieve the body you want, you must first understand how your body works for you and make that work to your own advantage.

TFL ( Thieves For Life)

Is it just me or are we all suffering at the hands of the TFL, Transport For London with their over priced fares and ticket prices.

I walked into my local newsagent so i can top up my oyster card for travel and was told that a zone 1-4 travel card before 9am was £10.60. I couldnt believe my eyes let alone my ears as to what he just said, £10.60, thats a rip off.

Gone are the days when fares on the bus were below £2 and now its £2.40 just to travel one way on a bus, what is this counrty coming to? yes travel for those under 18 is free which is great dont get me wrong, but travel is becoming ever so much expensive here in london.

A take home pay for a standard adult in london with no family to provide for is around £1,100, take away the rent of maybe 500-600 pounds for a single room/ studio flat inclusive of all bills, and then it costs £167.50 for a monthly travel card zones 1-4, practically 800 pounds is gone from that persons paycheck and they have pretty much around 300 pounds left for food, clothes and anything else that they need,  and with the prices in stores, supermarkets and other shops going up and the increase in V.A.T, that does not leave enough for the working adult here in london

It Is a real shame when big organisations target the little people, the working class

Gone are the days of Chivalry, Love and respect of other individuals, we are literally living in a  eat or be eaten kind of world. My only prayer is that one day this all changes, one day we live in a world where we all respect each other and we work towards a better world and place for us and for our children and our children's children.

Photos by Ian Dew

Hey my fellow bloggers

Just showcasing some pictures i did on a modelling shoot last year in september with a good friend  of mine whose a photographer, have a look and leave comments and feed back

"Revenge/ hell hath no fury"

I know you've thought about it, i know i have, but is revenge really a dish best served cold? is it that satisfying to seek vengeance against those who wronged us in some way no matter how small? Or is Vengeance the dish that should never be served because we really and truly know better?

From my experience revenge just leads to more problems, it can sometimes help to think about it, to help ease the pain as to how your gonna get your own back on someone who hurt you or humiliated you, but could we cross that line from fantasy/imagination straight into reality? i know most of us wouldn't ( the sane ones who have a conscience) but there are some who take revenge to the next level and make retaliation seem so awful and just down right disgusting.

An "eye for an eye" the famous quote from the bible and its counter argument "turn the other cheek" Jesus said, sometimes its necessary to to defend yourself against those who attack you physically and mentally but yh rising above petty squabbles can help reduce stress, headaches and migraines unless you get the person who is really asking for it and you deck em or give em a peace of your mind.

 I had to learn from an early age to defend myself, i was a pacifist but not for long, i remember when i was 10 or a bit younger, the school kids in my primary school tied me up with skipping ropes and then placed one around my neck ready to strangle me, in that instance fearing for my life i ripped it off of me and then grasped the skipping ropes in one hand and whipped them with it, i had a bruise along my neck back then from when they tried to strangle me to death and these are just school kids, yes they don't know any better but if it wasn't for the fact i was a bit bigger than them and i fought them off, it could be a completely different story but even after the headmaster got involved they still complained to him that i whipped them with the skipping ropes, hellloooo, of course i did, you tried to strangle me that was all self defense, but was it? or was it revenge?

There's a fine line between self defense and revenge, the creedo all good people (super heroes, like superman, my favourite) tend to follow, you know the whole "Do No Harm"  but when emotions come into play theres no telling what can really happen as they can in a way take us over. We all know the very popular saying "Hell hath No fury like a Woman Scorned" but really and truly Hell aint seen nothing yet when a man is scorned. When a true Alpha male finds out hes been cheated on, lord have mercy on the poor fool she cheated on him with, because he aint gonna be seeing straight for a while when 2 black eyes come his way

But honestly in my 23 years of living on this earth and ive had aloot of experiences, i always find that When you Seek the Destruction of Someone Else, You find you will Only destroy yourself. Believe me when i say that its so true but we all have to come to our own recognition as to whether vengeance is good or bad and where we draw the line between self defence and Revenge.

"Your Not My Type"

I guess we've all been there, those famous 4 words that roll off the tongue so well, it stings, it really does. On the outside your calm in control, showing some form of decorum but on the inside, your a raging bull in shock, you've just seen the colour red and want to charge ahead at them at full steam. Your Not My Type connotes a lot of different things after the say those dreaded 4 words, you think to yourself that they think there too good for you (when in fact theyre not), or theyre using it as some excuse to get out of the date that theyre in ( which they really are doing ) or its a polite way of letting things come to an end ( which in fact it isnt).

Truth be told, those are the worst 4 words to ever hear come out of a persons mouth, and also including "its not you, its me" at least that phrase tries to soften the blow, but "Your Not My Type", Ouch!! i've heard it only a couple of times and it does sting.

If a totally sexy hot as F*** person says that your face, you understand and you try to think that it was a long shot anyway and your probably out of their league, but when a not so hot person says it, OUCH!!! and not just that you know to yourself your too good for them anyway, totally their loss not yours.


In truth and reality Whether they are Hot or Not, its their loss not yours, you true value is what is within you not just the flesh on your bones.

Introduction

The Intro

Always a popular way to start things off "An Introduction", but really can be quite tedious, you just want things to be up and running and to just know it all already. We as humans, were like that, impatient to the end but we do surprise ourselves at time and show we can rise above our flaws, our bad qualities our un-mentionables.

But hey ill get right to the point instead of rambling on, my names Leo and this is my blog, im a 23 year old Singer Songwriter, writer and model from London UK. If you'all wanna check out my music its at www.soundcloud.com/leonardharte
 please feel free to listen to the tracks on there and if you want to e-mail me any feedback (Good and bad) please do at leoharte@hotmail.co.uk with soundcloud in the subject line