Titanium By Leo

Hey Everyone Please check out my Cover of David Guetta's Titanium, a follow up post from my previous one, my way of saying i wont let life get me down

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Life as i knew it!!!

Its been a while since my last Blog post, 2015 has gotten off to an interesting start. Always i feel like im fighting for my life in some way, shape or form. A battle to win, some obstacle to get over but i really wish my life could be simpler, Obviously i hope one day to make the big time because i don't wanna live a mediocre life.

I want to Accomplish Great things some way some how, but don't get me wrong there is nothing Mediocre about life. To have someone to love, friends, family, kids and a stable job that in itself is an achievement as it sooo hard to survive in this world as we know it.

My story for you all today begins sometime last year, ive told you all about the "3 witches" that ive worked with, soon i will tell you all in another post coming soon entitled "House of Hell" the other tortures i experienced and what led to me moving house last year and calling the police on my alcoholic abusive flatmate.

Last Year i was in a good place, at least i thought i was, started a new job in a restaurant and i was doing well as the Singing Waiter there singing Bday's and Anniversary Love Songs, Gigging monday nights as a singer and i had 2 real close friends who i could depend on for support in some way.

But that all went to pieces, i dunno what it is about me, i tend to attract the wrong friends and Lovers  but in all honesty im so grateful that in every way im somehow protected from the Bullshit of people.

I have a good read on people and i don't like to judge people as well, we all have our problems, we don't choose who we fall in love with and from my experience having a a true and close friend is a gift so im not too picky in choosing my friends as long as they are good and honest.

My 2 close friends of last year have been there for me in my times of crisis, unemployment, breakups, they've nursed me back to health from which ever problem ive had but have now proven to be the worst friends i ve ever had.

My close female best friend was there for me after my ex dumped me, even when i got chucked out of my ex's flat i only had 10 pounds on me as i was getting paid from work last year in jan the next day and i was standing around 2 am in the night looking for a night bus to take me home, out of nowhere a black cab appeared and those cabs are sooooo expensive, they triple the meter at night to make more money.

The guy rolled up in his cab and i told him i only had 10 pounds on me and my best friend lives only a short way away from here and that's when i saw that Chivalry in the common Man isn't dead at all in fact its fighting  in everyone of us to be seen.

He got me to her place safely and i stayed with her while nursing a broken heart, now a friend in need is a friend indeed, that's why she was my best friend.

When i started working for a new company around April of 2014 i got her a job with my company at another branch as she was in need, i even transferred to her branch so we could see each other more as we both were working crazy hours

But in the end The Truth always  comes to the surface, I saw her for what she was an Ugly Alcoholic who hated me and abused me verbally when she was drunk and when she sobered up didn't even apologize for the things she said or did to me in that drunken state.

Me the idiot, like i said i don't like to judge people, if u smoke, its ur own problem ill love you anyway, if u do drugs its ur own problem, ill love you anyway and if ur an excessive drinker its ur own problem ill love you anyway

She was an excessive Drinker and it wasn't that she drunk too much that was the problem, the problem was that her drinking had an effect on me and on the rest of her life.

I got her a job 9-5 Monday to Friday, weekeends off, she had it cushy, all she had to do was show up on time, her all night benders got her in loads of trouble and i couldn't do much to remedy the situation. I have called her out on her behaviour but she is an adult and has to take responsibility for her life, no one can do it for her.

I've gone out with her where shes passed out in a bar and i've picked her up got her some food and put her on a bus to get home just to make sure she doesn't end up in the hospital.

I've lent her money in the past with no strings attached because shes been sick, no doubt due to alcohol poisoning and her excessive drinking and as a consequence shes taken time off work and they did not pay her sick pay, so i gave her money to survive when i caught her trying to take a payday loans, those devilish deals only to find she spent the money i gave her to take one of our colleagues out for dinner in the same place we worked and paid for it with the money i gave her.

I felt so stupid after that, the last straw for me was when she finished work at 5pm and went to the pub round the corner from our work place and i joined her later at 9pm after i finished work with one of our mutual friends aswell. I got there and she was wasted already talking to anyone and everyone, i told my other friend, shes her responsibility tonight as im not getting her home tonight, i didn't want or need the drama.

Little did i know the fates had crossed all our paths together that night, i walked to a far end bus stop to get my bus home, they had both gotten on at a previous stop, i thought they were still drinking back at the pub. I walked onto the bus and i could hear my then best friend yelling at my other friend from the top deck of the bus and i got on, got upstairs and told her to calm down please.

That didn't work she then had a go at me in her drunken state telling me to shut up and swearing at me, now im tough as nails, but when you have someone you care about, who you give some measure of love hurting you in public and humiliating you, that hurts.

Our friendship ended that night and by her own hands, i wasn't sorry to see her go just more disappointed in myself in investing so much time and effort in the friendship to only have it end like this. I view life as a precious thing and i don't wanna lose friends, especially those i love. and i did love her very much which made it all the more harder.

But now its 2015 and shes outta my life, life as i knew it then has changed.

Another experience of mine was with a close male friend of mine, who in all honesty i regarded and treated as a brother and went out of my way to show i cared for him and valued our friendship, taking him out on his birthday, buying a gift, and lending an ear when he needed it but the dynamic of the relationship there was a very one sided one, to which i felt drained and i wasn't given anything much in return in terms of love, friendship and support.

My birthday came and went last year and i didn't spend it with him, i spent it with different friends who i thank for making my 25th Birthday truly special, even my flatmate who is a close friend of mine, went out his way, my close friend who i looked on as a brother did nothing, no card, no gift, didn't even take me out to commemorate my 25th, a quarter of a century Gone.

Im not a shallow person, i don't judge people for what they give me or do for me, all my uncles and other family memeber's know that my opinion, my Love and Support cannot be bought. My uncle the ambassador to london for Nigeria, tried to give me a lot of gifts in terms of sending me on courses for bussiness developement etc.. i rejected it because, for me a friend is someone who is there for you and is there not just someone who buys you things or does things for you.

For me i look at the small things, the things that people take for granted, someone who goes out of their way to remember me, especially on my Birthday, im not saying you have to get me a gift but if your my close friend a card would have sufficed, but not even that just a message on Facebook saying happy birthday and not even done with a personal touch.

I know right now i sound picky, but since moving out in 2012 at the age of 22, i've experienced a lot in the last 3 years and one mistake i tend to repeat is that i give my heart to the wrong people and invest my time in wrong pursuits to which im paying for so dearly now

Its 2015, i'm unemployed and the 2 friends i thought i could count on last year are in all honesty gone from my life and from my heart, as sad as it is to say

I pray Gods looking down on me now as im writing this and looks at my words now as a cry for help, I beg u God, I beg you father fill my life with Love and Laughter and true close friends and a lover who will be with me for all the days of my life.

For life as i knew it last year , is well and truly over

Time to start a fresh, Time to start A knew